Teasing

Dr Bill Rogers

We need to protect the rights of students to feel safe in our classrooms and schools.

Teasing can accompany gentle, even ‘familial’ banter. It can be part of social rapport; it can also hurt. We need to teach the difference and protect the rights of students.

Teasing does occur in our classrooms. There are students who will focus on what their peers look-and sound-like. Teasing can encompass gentle, even 'familial', banter. It can be part of social rapport; it can also hurt.

We need to teach the difference and protect the right of students to feel safe in our classrooms and schools.

In the middle of a Year 8 English lesson a couple of years back I heard a student sniggering, 'Nathan'. A little later I heard Nathan burst out with, 'You're a gay boy, a gay boy,' in a sing-song voice. I turned to see him pointing to a fellow student some seats away. Here was an occasion to be unambiguously assertive.

'Nathan! . . . that's a put-down and it stops now . . .'
'I was only joking!' Nathan asserted. I was annoyed. 'That's not a joke ever. It stops now.' The class was quiet, watching; waiting. There is moral weight in such a palpable, brief, silence. 'Alright, let's get back to work.' As I turned to reclaim some sense of shared purpose with the class Nathan added, in a loud whisper, 'You can't say nothing here.' I followed this up later when things had calmed down.

It is crucial we always communicate our values, as a teacher, to our class about what is acceptable and what is not about interpersonal language and behaviour. In-jokes, repartee, 'banter' can lighten and lift the day. The desire to hurt others through sarcasm, intentional put-downs, 'scoring', bullying (of any kind) should never be tolerated.

Whenever we hear, or see, such teasing it must be addressed immediately, even publicly where appropriate, and be followed up by the teacher with the individuals in question.

At calmer times it will help to have a whole-class classroom meeting to discuss this common-life issue by asking questions such as:

• What is teasing?
• What does it mean to tease someone?
• Why do people tease others?Is teasing ever okay?
• What is 'hurtful' and wrong teasing? Why? What's the difference?
• If you were being teased what could you do?
• If you see a fellow student being hurtfully teased what could/should you do?
• When you report teasing yourself, what support do you want?

Such meetings can also heighten the social reality of teasing.

Encourage students who observe hurtful teasing to consider their responsibility with questions such as:

• What can we say or do when we see someone being teased?
• How can we immediately help the victim?
• How should we report it to a teacher?

It may also be helpful to discuss the nature of interpersonal language if we frequently hear homophobic comments, or the easy use of words such as dropkick, idiot, dumbo, sh-t head, a---hole, w---ker.

Younger students may not always be sure, or clear, what these words or phrases mean. It can help to discuss with our colleagues how we could raise these issues with individuals or classroom groups.
If a student reports about on-going teasing to a teacher it is crucial we take it seriously. What may seem 'trivial' (to us as an adult) can be very upsetting for a child. It will help to encourage the teased student to sit with the teacher and the 'alleged' perpetrator after ample cool-off time to conduct an accountability dialogue or mediation session (depending on the seriousness of the incident).

Having got the details as clear as possible beforehand, the teacher should explain . . . 'I have called this meeting because of what I have seen/heard/or had reported to me that . . .' (Here the teacher is specific about what was said, or suggested, or implied.) The victim is invited to clearly explain to the perpetrator how they felt (about the teasing behaviour) and what they want to happen.

Most victims just want an apology and an assurance that 'it' won't happen again. The perpetrator should always be given a right of reply. If they protest that they were 'just joking' or 'mucking around' or 'other kids say stuff like this too', the teacher needs to point out that it isn't a joke when anyone kicks someone's bag or throws their lunch (be specific). It is essential to focus on the teasing behaviour and to show our appropriate disapproval of such behaviour without rejecting the students.

Explaining, and discussing feelings and perceptions is never easy, which is why the teased student should be encouraged to share their feelings and engage the perpetrator in perspective taking.

Sometimes it is not always clear- cut that one student has the role of being 'the teaser' or 'the teased'. If the teaser has stirred and teased others and is now experiencing the same treatment it will help to point out that it will just continue unless they specifically change what they are doing to trigger hurtful teasing in return.

If a student has been seen (and is known) to be taunting, threatening, lying about a student/their family etc it is crucial that the perpetrator knows what the consequences will be if they choose not to stop and give a clear assurance that such behaviour won't happen again.
It will often help to have a review meeting with the perpetrator and victim (in a week's time) to see how things are. These meetings can be conducted with each individual to re-assess the perpetrator's understanding of their behaviour following the mediation process.
The overriding issue with respect to teasing is that we ensure our students understand the common feelings we all have. We all have a common need for basic respect, a fair go and the right to feel safe in school-anywhere in school-even on the bus.(1)

It will also be important to establish and maintain from day one that, 'Our classroom is a no-put-down zone'. Explain what put-downs are, and how they can hurt but also how they can hinder self-expression and creativity in class discussions and group work.

While we obviously can't be there all the time for our students, our clear expectations, our values stance, and our intervention, follow-up and support will assure our students that we will always support their right to feel safe in school.

References:
Rogers, B 1995, Behaviour Management: A whole-school approach, Scholastic Australia, Sydney.
McGrath, H. and S Francey, S 1991, Friendly Kids, Friendly Classrooms, Longman, Melbourne.

Classroom Magazine Issue 3 / 2004

© Scholastic Australia 2004